Playing My Old Game Maker Games – Krazy Ken’s Tech Misadventures


– This episode of Krazy
Ken’s Tech Misadventures is sponsored by Linode. Pew, pew, pew. Oh, (beep)! Hey, guys, how are you all doing? Really? That’s just great. I’m doing pretty great today too because I came across a
discovery recently from my past. Back in the day I used
to do game developing with the Game Maker
platform from YoYo Games. I’ve been getting a little nostalgic, so we’re gonna take a
look at all the old games I used to make back in the day. I haven’t played these in years. Let’s take a look.
(upbeat electronic music) There we go, we did it, all right. Oh, (beep), ow. We can do this without dying, right? Oh, no, no, you asshole. Why am I doing this to myself? Okay, so as the computer
finishes booting up, I’ll just give you the
brief backstory here. Sage from SFC is another
one of our viewers, and we were talking recently about things like Computer Showdown and some old stuff the Computer Clan used to do. Computer Showdown was a
cartoon I did back in the day, and Sage actually redid
a few of the episodes. And holy crap, one of
these got all those views. He got more views than I did. Since when has a remake
ever gotten more popular than the original? Anyway, as we were talking
about that kind of stuff– (gentle music)
startup sound, He reminded me about all of these games I used to put on the Computer Clan website that were available for download. – [Young Ken] So now I
think I have to get this one onto the next level. All right, here we go. – To be honest, I forgot
about most of them. But since he reminded me, I tracked them all down, well most of them down, and I put them on this computer. I have not played these games in years. Okay, so what one do we open first? Starship Battle sounds fun. Let’s take a look at this one. Oh, that’s a beautiful splash screen. I feel better already. Okay.
(volume increasing) Nice ILIFE music right there. (relaxing electronic music) This is gonna be rough, isn’t it? “The Earth Starship is being
invaded by terrorists.” Oh, we really need Space Force now. “You are being counted on
to penetrate the enemy ship. “Your goal is to destroy all
of the guards on the ship “and destroy the ship itself.” All right, you’re with me on this, right? Let’s dive in. I wish I would’ve made the
Play button a little bit bigger so I could see it, holy crap. Okay, I’m guessing it’s, oh, I died. Okay, it looks like it’s
some kind of breakout game. Okay, this is very– (exploding) Okay, I have no frickin’ idea
of what just happened there, but it looks like you
have to break the bricks by bouncing around this ball and then hit the guy at the top without getting hit by the orange things, and you use the arrow keys
to control your player. (exploding)
There we go. We smashed that guy. Yeah, weak sauce, man. You only have one HP, (beep). Oh, we got two layers of bricks now, okay. Guess I gotta bounce this
guy around and not get hit. Escape, all right, that closes it. What I found amusing was
when I open the game, I actually got, let’s see if it shows up. Yeah, created with Game Maker. The old Game Maker Seven
logo and everything up there. Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. So that means it was probably
made with the free version that watermarks itself, yeah. Oh, well that was fun, so
let’s try Starship Battle 2 Electric Boogaloo. Let’s see what, oh my gosh,
my old ass username and logo, As seen on YouTube, yeah,
’cause that’s a selling point. Now this one is taking a while to load so I’m sure it’s just
full of amazing graphics. Or it’s frozen. Nope, there we go. There’s the created
with Game Maker banner. Oof, well I couldn’t even
bother with centering the logo, so that’s a start. “The Earth Starship is being
invaded by terrorists, again.” (laughs) We gotta protect that thing better. Okay, play. Holy (beep), okay. Oh, so now it looks like it’s a– (exploding)
Okay. This kinda reminds me of Yars’ Revenge, I don’t know if any of
you have ever played that. But it looks like we now shoot, oh– (exploding)
Oh, oh okay. I can be destroyed by my own ammunition, and those blue bricks, I guess, deflect. Okay, I now know that. So I guess I gotta
break these green bricks and then hit the baddy on the other end. (exploding)
Oh, okay, and those guys are killing me, okay. Let’s, well it doesn’t
look like they have any AI. It looks like they’re
just bouncing around. Okay, I gotta be careful
with how much ammunition I shoot because it will
bounce back and kill me. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Oh (beep)! No, oh, how do I, what the (beep). (exploding)
There we go, we did it. All right, oh (beep), ow. Okay, I just died like 900 times. It’s not too bad, I kinda
like the concept of this game. It just needs a re-skin. I should probably actually release some of these from download. I might make one of these games public and put the rest on my Krazy Ken Patreon, I think that would’ve be pretty fun. Okay, so that’s it of the
Starship Battle series. Let’s see what other horrors
linger on this hard drive. Impossible Maze, DEFCON, Break Out Blitz. Oh gosh, that scares me. Oh, and you look at the
information, look at that, Computer Clan Version 1.1. The date is wrong, because
that’s the date today when I just copied it to the computer. Oh my gosh.
(old school electronic music) The old Computer Clan banner. Holy, what? What is this music from? I probably stole that too. But yeah, it looks like it’s Break Out but with three bats instead of one. This is, eh, okay, I see. I kinda remember this one. Oh my gosh, hang on. Yeah, I just wish the ball
would kind of accelerate, uh-oh, I just wish the
ball would accelerate when you bounce it around. But I clearly didn’t have those lead programming skills back then. Oh, we got ’em, yeah. Okay, that’s enough of that. Yeah, Cyber Trap, that’s right. I believe Cyber Trap was the last game I finished and published before I kinda just left this hobby behind. There was another game I was working on, but I never published it. And I’ll put some more of that bonus stuff on the Patreon if you
wanna take a look at that. But ultimately, the last one
published was Cyber Trap, so we’ll save that for last. Jam, what is Jam; oh, it doesn’t even have a customized splash screen. This one must be really frickin old. (chuckles) I’m scared, help me. I don’t even wanna read
what I wrote in here, ’cause it’s probably (beep). Holy, what is even going on? You know, that background kinda reminds me of the new Mac Pro design. I think I predicted it like 10 years ago. Ooh, I’m psychic. Okay, so Project: Mission was
a first-person shooter game, and you shot at, oh my gosh, it’s something that can’t be explained, you just have to see this, oh my gosh. This has kinda been like an inside joke amongst some long-time viewers, but, oh gosh.
(old school electronic music) You’ve gotta be, oh my gosh. Okay, so that’s how you shoot. We got like some Windows things here. This is like a health,
wait, welcome to the, oh okay, it’s just a thing. So this is health, I guess, or you shoot, oh you shoot the health, okay. Why can’t I move; okay, there we go. I feel like I’m playing a
very ghetto version of Doom. Okay, so yeah, you have the, oh, he’s moving toward me, okay. We actually made a trailer
for this way back when. Oh my gosh, you kill the
evil Internet Explorer icons. I don’t remember if I ever beat this game. Wait, why is my health dying? Wait, what the? You are dead, what? I’m dead? Did the wall kill me? There’s another one. Oh boy. Oh, there’s a lot of them in there. I feel like I’m in the
Windows 95 screensaver, the maze, you know. Okay. Wow, that was a blast of the past. Okay, what’s next, ooh
the Impossible Maze. Well we’ll just see about that. Also before I start
this, just a quick note: a lot of the stuff in this tech video log is actually being cut out because there is a lot of gameplay footage that I didn’t wanna
shove into one episode. So if you wanna see a
lot of the deleted scenes and get even more uncut
and uncensored gameplay, you can get it on the Krazy Ken Patreon. And I’m gonna go even further. I’m gonna release these game files, they haven’t seen the light of day in probably like eight, nine, 10 years. I’m gonna put them on the Patreon as well so you can play them. So go ahead and grab a spot on there. Oh my gosh, even more old
logos, this can’t be good. (upbeat music)
Oh, okay, the camera actually moves with the player, that’s not too bad. That’s a little bit nicer, huh? I mean, it is called the Impossible Maze, but we’ll see about that. Wua! You asshole! You came outta nowhere, no! I used to make this stuff. I made this! So I beat it at one time. I don’t publish a game if
I can’t beat it myself, but clearly it’s been way too long, and I don’t remember
how to beat my own game. DEFCON, I remember making
a video for this as well. Oh yes, our old website, don’t go there. Well I’m guessing by the crosshair, this is a shooty thing.
(ominous music) “It’s the year 2025,”
if man is still alive. “S.O.N.A., the Special Organization “of Nuclear Annihilation,”
oh, that sounds nice, “is releasing another global invasion.” You know, that’s just
great, I don’t really care. Okay, we’re at DEFCON 5. So we gotta move around
and shoot these missiles. Oh, I let one of them get by and I lost. I have to shoot all of the missiles. Holy balls, okay. Oh, there’s actually particle
effects in this game, okay. That’s a little bit of a step up. No, mission failed? Oh my gosh, dude, this is
actually a little bit trickier, but I got this, I’ll just button mash. Do we really need to save California? I mean, what have they ever done for us? Also they game had mouse control. I think this was the first
game I did with mouse control. But for some reason, the
mouse cursor is actually still showing up. That’s probably not supposed to happen. (twinkling music) Oh, I don’t remember that. Where did that little jingle come from? Okay, we’re at DEFCON 4. We are not saving, holy (beep). Whoa, what, hey slow down. What the (beep), what? Slow the hell down, boys. What is this, a nuclear war? Oh, wait a minute; yeah, okay. So things are faster now. We’re above mexico. Ooh, all right, that got
me all warmed up and happy. All right, Labyrinth Laboratory, guys. Slightly newer splash screen, so probably slightly newer game. (soft electronic music) Ah, where is this music stolen from? And why did I just hijack
the Spider-Man 3 font? I really don’t know. – [Robot Voice] By now, you
should be aware of (murmurs). – [Ken] Oh, it’s a little
puzzley thing, okay. Oh yes.
– Retraining section. – Okay.
– Now let’s add new obstacle. Avoid the moving balls
in the next section. – [Ken] Yeah, I’ll avoid
your balls, no problem. Again, not too bad. It could use a graphic re-skin, but again, I made this when I was probably like 14 on a budget of nothing.
(upbeat electronic music) Okay, okay, whoa, okay
I see what I gotta do. Okay, there we go, ha-ha-ha. Hide out, yeah, okay. Okay, I got this. No, I don’t. Okay, take two. Oh hell yeah, now we’re getting a little more challenging now. You can tell because things are red. Okay, maybe this isn’t that hard. Oh, you asshole, are you serious? That was, that was totally my fault. I effed that up pretty bad. (exploding)
Wait, wait seriously? When you go outside the map, you explode? What idiot programmed this? Wait, oh, oh. Oh, (beep). Okay, so now there’s a
time pressure element. Great, as if I didn’t have
enough pressure already. Holy, shnikes. Anyway, I saved my game. That was fun, that one was actually one of the more fun ones. Okay, so here we come to
the last game: Cyber Trap. And I actually made a trailer for this which might have been a bit over the top. Let’s go ahead and roll that tape. (low-vibration drone music) (ominous orchestral music) – [Game Voice] I hope you like the feeling of wasting time because
everything you know will not matter in a few minutes. I hope you like death
because you’re about to die. Goodbye forever. – So I’m gonna load up the game here, but before we get into it more, let’s just take a quick break and talk about our awesome sponsor
for today: Linode. Linode provides virtual
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heck you want in the cloud. Whether you’re a Linux junky, not like me, (chuckles) or just want
to tinker with code, you can use Linode for either of those. It’s a do-it-yourself solution if you like into the
nitty-gritty of hosting your own professional service. But if you want easy, which
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this channel way back when. It’s fast, all in one, and easy to configure cloud computing. So whether you’re
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cool, live on the internet, Linode is here for you. Oh, and because you’re here, and because we’re all best friends, I’m gonna give you $20
free on your new account. Just use my code COMPCLAN20. Or if you don’t like typing in codes, click the link in the description. You’ll be glad you did. All right, back to Cyber Trap. “A power,” oh that’s glitching, “a power surge recently
hit a science lab,” this is really hard to read. “They were running tests with viruses, “virtualization, et cetera.” Oh W, or we’re using
WSAD this time around. Oh, there’s actually a
little bit of AI now, they’re following me. And I pressed space bar
and nothing happened. What’s my fire button?
(upbeat electronic music) Is it control, what’s my
fire button, it’s not, oh, is it the mouse button? Okay, apparently I clicked to fire, but I used WSAD to, whatever. They’re following me. It’s like budget Tron,
it’s like real budget Tron. You know, yeah, I mean, I know the backstory said
this ship isn’t complete, but yeah, the inability to
rotate my firing mechanism is a huge flaw. I kinda wanna get to the
final level of this one. I think I’m just gonna
keep, oh, okay we can, (laughs) these are bouncy walls, okay. I think I’m just gonna keep going until I get to the final level. But I’ll time travel for you so you don’t have to sit through the whole thing. Still going, I’m not giving
up until I reach the end, I wanna reach the end, oh my gosh! That’s a lot of guys, and
they’re all stuck together, okay. Well that’s like shooting
fish in a barrel. That’s pretty easy. They’re, oh. Oh! Plot point, okay. Clearly, some Ratman
inspiration from Portal, but nevertheless, they’re fooling me. There we go, ha-ha, suckers. Suck my blue balls,
actually that, oh crap. I got too cocky, I got
too cocky and I died. And yeah, I think there’s
a bug with the music. It’s playing like two versions
of the music bed at once, which, ha-ha-ha, we’ll have
to fix that in a dot update. Oh, you dick, I saw the
endpoint right there. You don’t have to be an asshole. Oh, the two pieces of music
playing at the same time is really driving me crazy. I gotta be near the end. I don’t remember making this
game that frickin’ long. We gotta be like in the
semi-final stage right now. Oh crap. Oh, the walls are moving. Wait, it’s red though, so
that mean it’s gonna kill me? Yup. (exploding)
What? No, dude. I was away, bull-(beep). I was clear of that one. I saw the exit. Oh, that’s just insulting. Oh, I was so close, man, c’mon. All right, we’re gonna do
it this time, we got it. Whoa, you dick, no! No, man. I just saw how to survive
that, how did I miss that? (beep), okay so I found out
why the music was overlapping. There were two instances of
the game running at once. I’m not sure how that
happened, but okay, good. It wasn’t a bug; thank heavens. We gotta try that again. – [Game Voice] Matter in a few minutes. – [Ken] Oh, he sounds
like he’s gonna kill me. – About to die.
– Oh, I heard the word “die”. That’s usually a bad word. Oh boy, there we are.
(upbeat rock music) That’s final boss music right there. This has gotta be the final. Oh, (beep)! This has gotta be the final level. Okay, let’s not die. We can do this without dying, right? Oh no, no, you asshole! Oh, that must be our
big boss right up there. Okay, so I gotta bounce the
bullets off these things. Oh, I hear things blowing up. Oh, they’re just getting stuck, frickin’ collision detection parameters. We got this, you’re with me, right? Tell me, oh; you weren’t with me, you betrayed me, asshole. You didn’t, uh-oh. I just soft locked. You gotta (beep) me, what? There’s a soft lock in my game. Oh, no there isn’t, he did it for me. Yay, the bad guy actually helped me. And he killed me, dick! We got this, got this, c’mon,
c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon! Oh (beep)! No! Oh, why? Why am I doing this to myself? Oh boy, the bounce pattern is becoming really difficult there. C’mon, how much health does a boss have? (shots firing) Yeah, boy! Suck it, blow up! Whoo. Okay, um, the end. That was great. And now we have a, oh cool,
a level selector, all right. That was frickin’ amazing. Good way to end with a final boss fight. Oh, what a time travel trip. Anyway, I’m thinking of
releasing some of these publicly. Yeah, do let me know when you beat them. Send me a Tweet or something. I’ll release more of them on
the Krazy Ken Patreon as well. That was fun, guys; catch
the crazy and pass it on. (upbeat electronic music)

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